Why getting up at 4am is not happening

This morning I saw that someone retweeted an article “Why productive people get up insanely early”  

I read the article mainly to see what they term as insanely early, and to read the comments from the people. But it made me realise that somewhere along the line my life went wrong. In the article they suggest getting up at 4, and for the next 4 hours nobody is expecting anything from you.

My daily life goes like this. I’m suppose to get up at 4:30 for everything to go calmly and smoothly, but I usually only manage to fall out of bed at 4:45 or sometimes even at 5, and usually only when the 2 year old cries. From when my alarm goes  off I just lie there and repeat to myself just 10 seconds and then get up. I’m not very good at listening to myself.

When I eventually get up it’s a big rush between getting milk for Arno to stop his crying, getting Andrea out of bed and dressed and getting myself ready for work. I’m suppose to leave at 5:40, but on some day I only get out of the door at 6:00. At work I’m just functioning partially because I’m just trying not to fall asleep and I’m daydreaming of the weekend coming and maybe being able to catch a nap somewhere during the weekend.

I usually get the kids from creche at about 5:30 in the evenings, and I’m home a few minutes after that. Most days husband gets home a few minutes before me then he cooks, and I’ll start with some washing and packing lunches for the next day. If he gets home late then it’s cooking in between washing and packing lunches and trying to give the kids a little bit of attention, because they haven’t seen us for the whole day. The rest of the evening goes very quickly in a haze of eating, watching tv while eating, bathing the kids, cleaning the kitchen and hanging up washing and packing away previous days washing that doesn’t need to be ironed. I shower and wash my hair in the evenings so that I can sleep half an hour later in the mornings. Then it’s usually just past 10 and I try and read a bit (either for work or just entertainment) but usually I fall asleep while reading.

And during that few hours of sleep I have to get up anything from 1 to 6 times for Arno to settle him or put his blankets back. I keep on telling myself that is only temporary but I’ve been saying that for 2 years so I don’t have a lot of hope.

And all of this to struggle financially 😦

I know I’m someone that needs 8 hours of sleep to function 100%, but I wish there was a magic pill to be able to sleep less and still be fine.

So no, I don’t think getting up at 4 will make me a happier, more productive person.

Sleeping

At this stage sleeping is the only thing I’m thinking about. We had it lucky with A1 being a great sleeper right from the start. There were some difficult times, but mostly it went very well. She had colic, but only during the day. It felt during the first few months like she would start screaming from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning, and then she would stop when she fell asleep in the evenings, but then she would sleep right until the next morning.

Then A2 was born, and in every way he is the opposite of A1. He would rarely cry during the day, and when he does it is always for a reason (tiredness, getting hurt etc). But during the night we would be lucky if we get 2 hours of continuous sleeping.

I tried the No-cry sleep solution, where you go to them immediately when they start crying (not fretting, but crying), but by that stage I was so tired that sometimes I would not wake properly when he cried, so many times I would have dreams where his crying was part of my dream, so I wasn’t always there to console him quickly. After 2 months I gave up on that.

When he turned a year I tried the sleep training, where you increase the length of time before consoling. The first night was horrible, the second night a bit better, and the third night he slept through. I was ecstatic, but that lasted for a week, then he got flu and an ear infection, and after that I think he slept through twice. He is now 17 months.

I had him at the paediatrician for a full checkup, and he also gave us a list of things to do/check. We’ve done everything but it makes no difference. I might’ve been okay if I didn’t have to get up at 5 to go to work, and only get into bed past 10. I usually only function if I’ve had 8 hours of sleep. Now in the 7 hours that I possibly can get I still get up 4 or 5 times, and if I don’t get up, but leave him to cry I lie in bed feeling terrible and hating myself. Last night I was up 5 times.